WWE: The Sitcom
by NutsyTheNuttySquirrel
Summary: All of your favourite WWE stars and John Cena have packed up their wrestling boots and have become stars of their very own sitcom! Naturally, hilarity ensues!


**WWE: The Sitcom Episode 1**

**The Generic Bowling Episode**

* * *

We open the show with **Police Officers Billy Gunn and Road Dogg **sitting in a café drinking coffee and eating their muffins.

"This is the life Doggie." Billy said to his partner as he leaned back on his chair.

Road Dogg turns away and spins around to face the other customers. "Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girl, children of all ages, the one the only Road Dogg Jesse James would like some sugar"

**Layla, the waitress **hands him a packet of sugar. "You could've said please." She turns to Billy. "You want anything Mr. 'Badass'" She says the last part sarcastically.

"Yeah baby, I want you in my bed."

Needless to say, Billy was nursing a slap mark seconds later.

"You have to be more alert. I on the other hand am ready for anything."

The camera cuts to the window, where a little Mexican boy is smoking, two men are shooting at another, a car is swerving all over the place, **Jeff Hardy **is spraypainting his own face on the side of city hall and **The Miz **is stealing an old ladies' handbag.

"I have to agree with you Double G, nothing gets past you."

* * *

**We cut to a parody of the **_**Cheers **_**intro starring various wrestlers**

* * *

**Vince McMahon: **WWE The Sitcom was filmed in front of a live studio audience.

We cut into the arena, where the ring has been replaced with a generic sitcom living room. The huge million dollar HD entrance stage has been blown up or some shit like that and replaced with a single door.

Rey Mysterio, Zack Ryder, Kofi Kingston and R-Truth are sitting in the couches wearing bowling shirts and their usual wrestling gear. They are all holding bowling balls and just sitting awkwardly.

Kane bursts through the door wearing a bowling shirt similar to the others except with burn marks all over and a © over the chest. He looks extremely excited and he waves a piece of paper in the air.

"Guys! Guess what?"

"What?" (Add Holmes, Broski, Mon and Dudemeister respectively.)

"We just have to beat the TNA Tanks to win the bowling league!"

They all cheer as an the audience applaud.

"But there's been a small rule change which might… MIGHT affect our chances… we need six players."

"Don't panic mon!" Kofi yelled in complete panic despite everyone keeping calm.

"We'll find someone holmes." Rey said to Kane.

"I'll phone up my bro Mean Gene!" Zack said pulling out his iPhone.

"Man you all racists!" Truth yelled for no reason at all.

"Guys!" Kane yelled, making the vase next to Kofi burst into flames setting his dreadlocks aflame. "I've got an idea! Let's hold auditions!" They all cheered except Kofi who began to roll around on the floor in an attempt to extinguish the flames.

* * *

We see Ryback sitting in a doctor's office. The doctor picks up a vial marked 'Ryback's piss' which contains a rainbow coloured liquid. The doctor frowns and turns back to Ryback.

"So, you want to enter the olympics?"

"Yes."

"Well, sir I'm afraid I can't allow you to enter. You've tested positive for drugs. VERY positive. In fact we found more than fifty kinds of drugs in your system, some that have not even been discovered."

"So I was thinking I could enter the synchronized diving event."

"I'm afraid I can't let you enter sir."

We see Ryback's POV which looks exactly like the Terminator. The view zooms in on the doctor and the word 'Meanie Head' flashes up on the screen repeatedly.

"I'll get in the Olympics!" Ryback wailed leaping up crying. "You'll see! You'll all see!"

* * *

We cut back to the bowling team who are at the bowling arena sitting at a judge's desk similar to America's Got Talent, the x's on the front of the desk.

"Bring in the candidates!" Kane yells and Shark Boy walks in.

"Name?"

"Shark Boy you son of a coral!"

"What kind of sissy pants McGee replaces bitch with coral?" Truth asked.

"This sissy pants you nicker!"

"Nicker?" Zack questioned.

"I think he means Nigger hombre." Rey tells him.

"Oh that's it!" Truth leaps over the table and he and Shark Boy begin clawing at each other as if they were in a cat fight.

"Here we go again!" Kane, Zack, Rey and Kofi said playfully in unison to a huge laugh.

* * *

We cut to outside the gates of the Olympic stadium where Ryback, Rob Van Dam, Sabu and Randy Orton are marching around holding signs reading 'Say YES! To Druggies', 'Druggies are people to.', 'Let me in or I'll bite you' and 'Will dance for weed'.

"Why are doing this again dude?" RVD asked.

"You see, Rob apparently there is something wrong with our rainbow coloured piss and our inability to remember what we're doing! SAVE THE RHINOS!"

"I thought it was 'Say YES! YES! YES! To druggies?" Sabu murmured.

"Are you sure your high?" Ryback questioned looking unsure.

"I don't even know anymore….." Sabu responded looking at his feet.

"You said I could bite someone." Randy reminded Ryback.

"If the need arises you have permission to bite Usain Bolt. That dick cost me my house." He growled in response.

* * *

Back at the bowling alley, the whole place is ruined and some desks and shit are overturned. Truth is in a straight-jacket, pouting like a little boy.

"Do you have to get in a fight with everyone?" Kane asked the crazy dude.

"Yes. It's necessary."

"Just asking." Kane replied. "Next up is Jameson Truth the third."

A floating ball enters the shot and Truth's face lights up.

"Hey Jimmy how ya goin' man?"

We cut to the ball for about five seconds before we go back to Truth. Each time Truth responds, the process repeats.

"Hahaha, always the joker."

"Can we just get on with it mon? I've got a jam session at six."

"Don't rush him Jafakin'!"

"I agree with Bob. SHOW US WATCHA GOT JAMESON!" Kane yelled.

The moves back in an arc as if someone is throwing it before it flops feebily to the ground.

All of the judges press their x's except Truth but Kofi presses it for him. The ball seems to look at the ground as it leaves.

"Aw come on guys, you made him cry!" Truth rips out of his straight-jacket and rushes away.

"So whose up for waffles?" Kane asks.

They all cheer as they leave the alley and we leave for a break.


End file.
